When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise. The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver, the heart of the wicked is worth little. The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of understanding. (19-21)
The Bible has a lot to say about our words and the power of our tongue. Its most remarkable advice is to keep your mouth shut. Oh, how I wish I could learn that lesson. Solomon says, “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable.” There is something to be said for diplomacy and talking things out. All too often, I see believers at odds with each other who could solve their problems if they would just humble themselves and talk through the issue. Solomon is not advocating bitterness or hiding hatred in your heart. Talking things out is a good thing. However, talking without listening profits little.
If you are too busy trying to form your next point instead of actively listening to what the other person is saying, you are just being argumentative. When we humbly and honestly listen to others, we might find out that we are really on the same page after all. I can remember wasted hours arguing with someone only to realize at the end that we were saying the same thing. Had our discussion been based on what the other was truly saying and not our preconceived assumptions, we would have realized that our positions were strikingly similar. Discussion is good, but listening is even better. The more words you use, the more likely you are to say something you will later regret.
The tongue is powerful. It can be a force for evil, but it can also be a force for good. “The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver, and the lips of the righteous feed many.” When used to teach, encourage, instruct, and bless your words can be a powerful tool in the hands of a good God. When driven by your wicked desire to “be right” and to simply “win,” your words can be an equally sinful weapon in the hands of the enemy. Listen more than you speak, and when you speak, pray for the Holy Spirit to guide your words. This approach is the only way to avoid that unavoidable transgression.