Who can find a wife of noble character? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will not lack anything good. “Many women have done noble deeds,but you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. Give her the reward of her labor, and let her works praise her at the city gates. 31:10-11, 29-31)
Proverbs 31 is pretty well known and is the “go-to” passage for every mother’s day sermon and women’s ministry. The concept of the “Proverbs 31 Woman,” has been bandied around for years and in some ways sets up an impossible standard for what the perfect woman should be. She is beautiful, she is intelligent, she is business-minded, she perfectly cares for her husband and her children (and all her servant girls as well 😊) and she is basically the total package. In this description, the husband does next to nothing and just sits at the city gate getting applause for choosing such an awesome wife! It is the word of God, mind you, but it is also a picture that doesn’t take in every detail of real life. The fights, the failings, and the fussy children are not described in this text. They are real, but the point is to praise the demonstration of God’s grace that we all call “mother” or “wife.”
No woman is perfect and this text is simply an ideal for which to strive. Yet, I cannot read this passage without thinking about my wife. Certainly, we have had our share of fights, failings, and fussy children. But still, when I read this, she comes to mind and I see her all over this passage. There is no one more noble or precious than Suzie. I fully trust her and have lacked no good thing in all the years we have been together. She is smart, she is kind and she is strong—stronger than me. I figured that out in the delivery room the first time I saw her literally dive down into the jaws of death in order to give birth to our son… then watched her do it again a few years later, and then yet again. She works harder than anybody I know and she cares more deeply than anyone I know. Most of all, she fears the Lord and has a faith and prayer life that is unparalleled. Meanwhile, I am just the guy at the city gate, doing nothing and getting applause because I happen to be married to her 😊.
I think that is really the point of this passage. It is not that Christian women are perfect, or that they must live up to the impossible Proverbs 31 standard. The point is that what made this imaginary woman great in Proverbs was the God that was at work in and through her. What made her noble was the God who shone through her every day. As God shines through our wives and mothers we see that same hint of His grace in them. I bet I am not the only guy who reads this text and thinks of his wife or his mom. I am sure we all do that. This doesn’t mean we think our wife is perfect; it simply means that we see the hand of God on these women that we love and thus, they share a common bond with the woman in this text. We honor God when we honor His work in the people that we love. If you will all excuse my indulgence, “Suzie, I love you and cherish you more than you know. You are a living demonstration of God’s grace to me every day. May your works praise you (and Him) at the city gate!”
