Honor belongs to the person who ends a dispute, but any fool can get himself into a quarrel. (20:3) The one who guards his mouth and tongue keeps himself out of trouble. (21:23)
The book of Proverbs is a rich treasure chest of wisdom about some of the most every day, “down to earth” things. I am always convicted every time I read it. Consider the measure of wisdom in these two verses; what makes you smart is not winning an argument but keeping your mouth shut. We tend to want to show everyone how much we know and how smart we are by arguing about things that really don’t matter. Sometimes we get into disputes about random things, ranging from theology to a minor familial disagreement between spouses. At the end of the day, the majority of what we end up arguing about is not important enough to justify the number of words and emotion that we put into it.
Honor is not found in winning an argument, having a rapier wit that can cut others deeply, or in proving that we are always right. Honor is found in ending a dispute; true honor and wisdom come when we use our tongues for healing the wounds of others and glorifying God rather than winning every argument. The writer says, “Any fool can get himself into a quarrel.” How true that is, and I shudder to think how many times I have been that fool. The one who guards his tongue is the one who stays out of trouble. This doesn’t mean being a pushover or never standing up for what’s right. On the contrary, it means learning to speak when it is really important and learning when to keep quiet for the good of others and the glory of God. The peacemaker—the diplomat is the one who really honors God and who demonstrates genuine wisdom. Strive to be that guy.
