Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when He heard that he was sick, He then stayed two days longer in the place where He was. (5-6)
Sometimes when a parent punishes a child, they will say, “This hurts me more than it hurts you!” The statement seems ludicrous to the child who is getting the spanking. Yet, every parent understands the emotional pain involved in doing a difficult thing in their child’s best interests. Love does not always mean saying “Yes!” or giving the other person everything they want. Sometimes love means saying “No” or saying “Wait!” True love means doing what is best for the other person, even if it’s not what they want. Love often involves hard choices when the person doesn’t understand your reasons or even know what is best for themselves or others. This difficult truth is the context of the story of Lazarus in John 11.
Because Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, He chose NOT to go in time to heal Lazarus but instead allowed him to die. This seemed like a cruel choice to everyone because all agreed that if Jesus had arrived on time, He could have prevented his death. Yet, Jesus knew some things that nobody else knew. First, He knew that God would get more glory from Lazarus’ death and resurrection than He would from Lazarus’ healing. More people ended up believing in Jesus because of this event, and in the end, more people were coming to see Lazarus and hear his story than to see Jesus (12:10-11). Second, Jesus knew that His disciples and the family of Lazarus would learn more and be more encouraged by his death and resurrection than by his healing.
Jesus was not trying to punish Lazarus or anyone else. It grieved Him to see them go through suffering and death. This is why we see Him weeping at the grave and showing more emotion than He typically displayed. Yet, Jesus knew that as difficult as this experience was for this family, there was something better waiting for them on the other side. Just because God loves you, it doesn’t mean He always gives you what you want. In fact, because He loves you, He sometimes denies you the very thing you want! He knows what is best, and His choices in your life are always good. When you can’t figure out why God is not rushing in to save the day, you can know He is never “late.” Instead, the time is not right, and there is something He wants to teach you and do in and through you that will be better than anything you could have imagined. Just know that He sees you, and He knows what you’re feeling; it hurts Him more than it hurts you. Because He loves you, He sometimes says “No.”
