But if it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served, which were beyond the Euphrates River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. (v. 15)
As Joshua looks back on the history of Israel and their repeated spiritual failures, he challenges them to decide on which “god” they will follow. As the leader of Israel and as the leader of his family, Joshua makes it clear that as much as it depends on him, those under his care and concern will serve the Lord (the God of the bible). Joshua clearly illustrates some spiritual truths for us in the marriage relationship. To begin with, he could not dictate what all of the people in Israel would do. He was the nation’s leader, and he had a responsibility to be a good example. Yet, at the end of the day, each of the heads of households had to decide for themselves and their families who they would serve. Joshua was an example for all, but he had an even greater responsibility to lead his family. As far as his family was concerned (those under his roof), he could dictate which God their family would serve.
Likewise, all men today are responsible for being an excellent example to other people in their sphere of influence. However, they have an even greater responsibility to lead well those under their control. This responsibility presumes that the husband is not only the physical head of the family but also the spiritual one. It is not enough for the husband to just have the final say about various decisions being made in the home. He must also fully embrace his spiritual responsibility to lead his family well in all things spiritual.
Every individual in my immediate family is responsible before God for their actions. Each of them will have to stand before God and give an account for their personal lives. Yet, as the head of the home, I am held to an even greater standard where I am responsible for how I live my life and also responsible for how I lead my family. Joshua could not control the other families, only encourage them to follow his lead. Yet, in his own family, he had the right and the responsibility to declare that his family would serve the Lord.
There comes a time when children grow and leave home. At that point, they are either responsible as the head of their own household or as a wife under another head of household. Until that time, while they live under your roof, the Christian father has the calling and obligation to shepherd his children and raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Too many people today abdicate that responsibility and either put it solely on their wife or on the local church. The Christian mother has a huge role to play in the spiritual life of her children, but this is never intended to supplant the husband. The local church has a vital spiritual ministry to the children who attend, but it is not a replacement for the father.
Today, we need men of God to lead their families and take the shepherding role in their families seriously. You cannot (and should not) force your wife and kids to follow Jesus, but it is your life’s work to do everything in your power to lead in such a way that they hunger and thirst for the Lord. You are to be the chief example of Christ to them, and you are to love and live sacrificially for them. No earthly accomplishment can justify losing your wife and children spiritually. They are the top priority, and they need your example and your spiritual leadership.
