Proverbs 15 NLT
A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness. Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. (1-2, 4)
Words are more powerful than we realize. Luke 6:45 says, “What you say, flows from what’s in your heart.” (NLT). You can often tell where someone’s heart is, by the words that come out of their mouth. So many times in my life, frustration, culture stress, or a variety of problems have squeezed my heart so that what came out of my mouth was not kind or encouraging. This is not because of the challenges I was facing, but it was because of what was already in my heart to start with. The stress just exposed me for all to see what was truly inside. It is possible to keep up a good front and a fake smile when things are good, but when the squeeze comes there is no way to curb your tongue and hide your thoughts.
Yet, Proverbs tells us that the tongue can also be a force for good. The right answer delivered gently, can actually diffuse an argument and save the day. The wrong tone or the wrong words, though, can just as easily make things worse. I have seen this in my life over and over again. I have responded with a gentle answer and seen the Lord turn everything around, and then I have had those times when I answered too curtly or too abrasively and immediately regretted it when I saw the look on the other person’s face. Our words are so powerful that they can crush someone’s spirit or they can actually be like a tree of life.
Think about that. Like a lush green oak, our words should be such that people are invited to come, sit close and find shelter from the harshness of others. Under that tree one can find grace, encouragement, and wisdom. These gentle words of wisdom are like a tree that shelters, but they are also like a tree that is solid, strong, and lasting. Gentle doesn’t mean you aren’t firm, forthright, or convinced, it just means you care as much about the feelings of the other person as you do about winning an argument. I want my words to be a true reflection of my heart and character—and I want my heart to reflect the gentle, wise, strong heart of God.
