The one who will not use the rod hates his son, but the one who loves him disciplines him diligently. (v. 24)
Today’s topic is one that is very difficult to discuss for many reasons. One is because some do practice child abuse in the name of discipline (which of course is wrong) but another is because in American culture parenting has become a very private issue. Yet, the longer I live the more I see young parents struggling with properly disciplining their children. Even some young, godly, missionary parents come to the field with children who behave terribly. Popular culture has warped the minds of some of the best Christian parents into thinking that spanking is wrong, and on top of that, many of today’s parents also had “helicopter” parents themselves who hovered over them and catered to their every whim without administering the appropriate discipline when necessary. I think that the church’s reluctance to speak into this issue is actually hurting these young parents and we need to be bold and lovingly point people back to the bible.
Whether it is offensive or not, (and whether it is popular or not), the Scripture clearly shows us how to raise our children and how to discipline them. We can try to spiritualize the “rod” if we want, but a plain reading of the text is pointing to a type of physical punishment that causes physical pain. Using this physical punishment (an actual “rod”) is a sign of love (contrary to popular wisdom). Why is that? Well, until our children are saved we cannot reason with them spiritually and use spiritual discipline. There is a time when spanking is no longer appropriate and we should use other methods to appeal to their hearts and point them to the Holy Spirit who lives in them. But, when they are young and unsaved, God has given us the rod to use to help discipline them diligently. I am not advocating abuse or inordinate pain; I am advocating spanking that comes from a patient heart of love and not a quick temper.
In this classic verse, the wise writer tells us that if you withhold physical discipline (spanking) you actually “hate” your child. Yet, he says if you “love” your child you will use the rod of correction. That might seem counterintuitive, but you need to know that until your children are walking with the Lord you are the authority that God has put into their lives to guide and discipline them. Parents who fail to discipline their children when they are young will create children who reject authority and refuse to submit when someone else exercises authority in their lives. So, they become people who talk back to teachers, refuse to respect the police and government authorities, and ultimately they will pay the price for that. Even more, when God is at work in their heart and confronting them with their sin we want our children to be children who submit to His Lordship and not resist it. This is why those who love their children spank their children; because they want them to be people who learn from a very young age (even before they can be logically or spiritually reasoned with) to respect authority and experience the blessing of submission. We do not show love by raising rebellious scoundrels; the bible says that is indeed the opposite of love.
