I once went through a peer-review process where people I supervised had to anonymously share their perceptions of my leadership. That year the feedback was very positive, and there was only one critical comment… “Kevin needs to listen to others better and needs to work on being more considerate of the needs of those he leads… he has a tendency to be self-centered in his approach to leadership.” Just being completely transparent, that comment shook me up and as silly as it sounds I had some sleepless nights wondering who wrote it, why, and, what was it all about?
I say it sounds silly because that is how we are as people… we let one critique (which might or might not be true) overshadow all the wonderful things multiple others say. More importantly, we often worry more about what people think than what God thinks. Jesus said that all of us are spiritually bankrupt and destitute in our sins, and then He follows by saying “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Mourn about what? I believe he means mourns about that spiritually depraved condition. A friend of mine says finding out a great truth like this is the “best day and worst day of your life,” because it is terrible when you realize how bad things are, but it is great because now you are aware and can fix it.
As we do evangelism, plant churches, and train leaders we have to start with the truth… that we are all “poor in spirit.” We then need to help people see just how bad that is and foster in them a sense of mourning over their sins. Being genuinely sorry for your sin is a vital component of repentance and without repentance, we will all likewise perish. Yet Jesus uses a vivid word for “sorry” and that is the word “mourn.” When is the last time you considered your spiritual shortcomings and mourned in the depths of your soul because you had grieved a Holy God? When was the last time you saw the people you work with broken and weeping because of their sin and depravity before a Holy God? I often sense a cavalier attitude towards sin among many Africans, and I wonder if that is somehow my fault. Maybe instead of starting with fire insurance, we should be starting with the Holiness of God. Maybe instead of trying to get quick decisions and focusing on the numbers, we should be aiming for the heart and birthing in our people group a genuine sense of mourning over their spiritual poverty.
The good news is that those who really mourn will be comforted; the “worst day and best day of your life.” The day you see yourself the way God sees you, is the day you mourn your sin and are comforted with the Grace that comes from the cross! Finding out the truth is always a good thing. By the way, I am not sure if that one comment on my peer review was one person’s perspective or if it was true… but just in case, I refused to take chances with such weighty matters. I took that one comment, enlarged it, printed it, and taped it over my desk. Every day, multiple times a day, I considered “am I listening, am I considerate, am I being self-centered?” I read it before every email I wrote and before every decision I made, and it remained up there the rest of the year. If I can take one random comment so seriously, then how much more so should I mourn over all the ways I fail Jesus? May God develop in us a sensitivity to sin and a desire to please Him in all we do, say, and think. May our people catch that same sense of mourning from us and be driven to their knees at the foot of the cross!
